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U.S. DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE
ALIEN NEUTRALIZATION OF THE U.S.
OFFICE OF XXX
SECURITY LEVEL: 5-EC
This report is submitted to the U.S. Department of Defense and the Alien Neutralization of the U. S. pursuant to 28 C.F.R. § 1403(c), which states that, “[a]t the conclusion of the Special Agent’s work, they . . . shall provide the U.S. Department of Defense a confidential report detailing the tresspasses or aggressive actions of an extra-terrestrial individual or organization.”
Honey House Incorporated–the cutting edge technology company run by the extra-terrestrials known as Lizaree–knowingly caused the disappearances of humans Sohnos Rex and Winslow Wols. Honey House Inc. claimed that they sent their only two human employees back in time to help destroy the giant monster known as Guliath. Honey House Inc. then claimed that their time machine had broken immediately after Sohnos Rex and Winslow Wols were sent through. Additionally, Guliath remains a threat to humanity.
In late July 2097, a decade after the Great Lizaree Civil War, Honey House Inc. named humans Sohnos Rex, their resident musician, and Winslow Wols, their resident photographer. One month later, the first recorded Guliath attack occurred in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Despite mass hysteria and public suspicion, the Lizaree people–represented by Honey House Inc.–denied any alleged connections to the attack and vowed to lead the charge in destroying Guliath. They formed Guliath task forces and assigned Sohnos Rex and Winslow Wols to serve as the chief correspondence on Guliath progress. Mr. Rex and Mr. Wols gave weekly updates on their podcast titled The Guliath Report.
Nearly two years later, Honey House Incorporated announced that they had invented a time machine that would be used to send Sohnos Rex and Winslow Wols back to the year 2085 to help the U. S. government prepare for Guliath. On January 22nd, 2099, Sohnos Rex and Winslow Wols stepped into the Honey House Inc. time machine and have not been seen or heard from since. In the February 2099 press release, Honey House Inc. claimed “the machine experienced a fatal error during the time travel process, and will be back online soon.”
The disappearance, Guliath attacks, and vague remarks by Honey House Inc. ultimately led to the June 2099 investigation by Special Agent George W. Shmueller, IV. The U. S. Department of Defense along with the Alien Neutralization of the U. S. ordered him to investigate “Honey House Incorporated’s efforts to cover up the disappearances of Sohnos Rex and Winslow Wols,” including any links or coordination between Honey House Inc. and the Guliath attacks.
The following report details Special Agent Shmueller’s undercover experience inside the Honey House Inc. factory and includes audio recordings of the official Honey House Inc. factory tour along with sketches of various Honey House Inc. patented technologies.
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